May Notes

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May’s done, and in my mind it means that the year is coming to an end.

mhnow

I finally maxed out my Somnacanth great sword and with the Rude Awakener armor set, I was able to achieve my largest Big Damage Number yet—123,443! In the video above, I demolish a 9* Jyuratodus with (pretty much) a single strike.

don’t wordle

I’ve been enjoying Don’t Wordle. As the name suggests, the goal of the game is to not Wordle. To be clear, you still have to figure out the 5-letter hidden word, but you do so to avoid guessing it. You win by using all six guesses without landing the answer (or not-answer?).

Don't Wordle: DRAKEDon't Wordle: FREED

It’s challenging! The game forces you to reuse greens in the same spot, reuse yellows in a different spot, and you can’t reuse grays. The game shows you possible words remaining, and you get 5 undos. However, if you accidentally guess the hidden word, you automatically lose.

I’ve found success in using undos to guess the secret word fast, then filling out the board with that knowledge.


fuck it—i’m bringing the em dash back

I stopped using them because I didn’t want people to think I was using LLMs to write. Then I figured that it shouldn’t be a concern because (1) iykyk, and (2) people who automatically assume that a text is LLM-made by the sheer appearance of an em dash aren’t people I care about offending or impressing anyway.

Good Pig Trotters Fried Bee Hoon

Plate of bee hoon with a fried egg, luncheon meat, fish cake, fish fillet, pork lard, little bit of chili on the side

This might be the yummiest thing I had in May—excellent pig trotters bee hoon from Good Pig Trotters Fried Bee Hoon at The Arcade in Raffles Place.

Oh my word, the bee hoon was so flavourful and wet! But not mushy! Important distinction. It had a good bite. Toppings I added: fried egg, luncheon meat, fish cake, fish fillet. Tiniest dollop of chilli, the way I like it. I was delighted to find crispy pork lard in a corner, which were very good. Great crunch and flavour.

Perfect breakfast food. 10/10.

Honourable mentions:

  • Cabbage kueh (Yong’s Teochew Kueh)
  • Cinnamon raspberry tart (Drips Bakery)
  • Chicken chop rice (Beradik by Western Boy)

📺 guilty pleasure tv

After my sister showed me an episode of 逐玉 (Pursuit of Jade) on Netflix, I went and watched all forty episodes in <24 hours. 😐 I just lack the mental fortitude to ration episodes over weeks and months.

I typically watch guilty pleasure TV at 1.5X speed and use the +10s button liberally. Why do I do this? I think to soothe myself with an illusion that I’m saving time—I’m wasting time, yes, but a touch of a button here and there—I’m wasting less! 😃😐🤡 It’s all very stupid, because if the show’s any good, the withdrawal will be bad and I’ll end up rewatching my favourite scenes or straight up, whole ass episodes.

Have you used the clipping feature on Netflix? My impression of it is that it’s so unnecessary. (Also, it’s mobile only.) It’s essentially bookmarking; you’re allowed to clip any video on the app, your clips are called Moments, and they’re accessible on your Moments page.

What the hell are people clipping?? I’d wondered, and then 逐玉 happened:

Screenshot of Netflix Moments, list of clips from Pursuit of Jade

What can I tell you? 张凌赫 is a phenomenal, phenomenal, phenomenal heartthrob in this drama.

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He wears the 翎子 (pheasant feather crown on his head) so well. I read somewhere that it was actually 张凌赫’s idea; he saw a general wearing one in a video game and made the suggestion to the production team. Also, what’s incredible about this scene is that it isn’t even his 凯旋 (the Chinese equivalent of a Roman triumph). Just him returning to camp. (Well, they did all think he was dead, so this entrance was special.)

Anyway, I really liked that production prioritised beauty over historical accuracy. Remember the 辫子? The half bald cut, long pigtail abomination? (See: queue.) We all agree that it’s hideous? I’m glad we don’t see those in romance dramas anymore. Although, 吳奇隆 wore it really well, and without it we wouldn’t have this one iconic scene from 步步惊心 (Scarlet Heart):

Ruoxi grabbing Yongzheng's pigtail

「你從不讓別人抓住你的小辮子，只有我可以。」 若曦得意的說。

「只有妳敢~」雍正無奈的寵溺一笑。

I had help recalling this dialogue from this blog post: The differences between the original novel and the TV series “Scarlet Heart” (elin-elin033.blogspot.com). I’m just learning from this post that the pigtail functions as a recurring visual motif throughout the series? Amazing, delicious stuff. And the real Emperor Yongzheng did not like his pigtail grabbed!

Right on the heels of 逐玉 I binged 度华年 (The Princess Royal). For no reason other than 张凌赫 was in it. 😐 Why did I do that? 😐 This time I mostly read the sypnosis and watched scenes / episodes I identified as “key” (lmao).

I’m rethinking the “guilty pleasure” label. It’s not really serving me. Things are either pleasurable or not; and if it’s pleasurable, it’s good; and if it’s good, I’m making myself experience negative emotions for… why? I shall simply refer to them as lower pleasures. Though I think Mill said it first. The funny thing is there’s probably more contempt associated with the term “lower pleasure” than “guilty pleasure” in the history of people referencing them. (Did I get the wrong impression? Wasn’t Mill really harsh about it?) Ooh I know, what if I went with “fast” vs “slow” pleasures? I’ll need to think fast and slow about that one.

🎸 who took the bomp from the bomp-a-lomp-a-lomp?

I’ve been listening to Le Tigre. Bruce Hornsby’s new album, Indigo Park. Olivia Rodrigo’s new singles drop dead and the cure, which I don’t love right now, but know will grow on me, like vampire has. You Can Be Weird With Me by Philippa Rice (Soppy, Sister BFFs). I love her comics and crochet animals! Stoked that she’s making music.

I keep going back to The Dream by The Favors (FINNEAS and Ashe), and I can now say for certain that it’s my favourite album of 2025. Here’s the music video for The Little Mess You Made:

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I spent the whole video thinking “this is familiar… where have I seen this before?” And then it hit me: America’s Sweethearts (starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy Crystal, Julia Roberts.) Wasn’t that such a weird movie? I saw it on the plane and it made my flying discomfort / anxiety worse. I don’t think I finished it and have no desire to find out what happens in the end. It’s very weird.

Btw I had no idea Ashe’s a total bombshell:

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I am captivated.

I just adore duets.

I’ve been listening to The Marías for awhile now. Earlier this month I found their performance of Sienna on Jimmy Kimmel and it breaks my heart very much:

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🧠

In my last post I mentioned my interest in the ontology of ghosts. Once I started my investigation, I was disappointed almost immediately. The scope also didn’t make sense. I think a satisfactory answer to the ghost question requires some kind of conclusion of the ontology of consciousness / nature of reality. Ugh.

📚 what i read

currently reading

I started meditating. My breathing feels difficult when I am concentrating on it. It’s like my attention turns my lungs into bricks. Heavy brick lungs. Imagine if I turned my lungs into an oven and made brick lung oven pizza. Anyway, focusing is so hard. I considered joining a 10-day meditation retreat, but my cardinal rule in life is to always have full control over my diet (this one retreat claims to serve “wholesome” vegetarian meals 🫪) and sleep schedule. Cult recruitment begins this way. Like hell I’m exposing myself to that shit.